There have been times when I have been left wondering about the objective of my existence in this world. This question comes into the mind of every individual that has walked this earth, at some point or the other, in their lives. I am sure that once an individual realizes his/her purpose, it makes the road to life and its destination much easier. And, the destination in each case is happiness and sense of satisfaction, nothing less and nothing more.The one person that often is missing from our list of being good to happens to be ourselves! Most people often spend their lives trying to be a better something for someone. Not for once do they strive to be the best or even better for themselves! Personally, as I have coursed through life, I have been compelled to face the selfishness that resides within me.
To want something for myself, is it not selfish? I always thought that I did everything selflessly and was kind of proud of that knowledge of being so! But, is it really a selfless life I have been living? I think harder and realize that everything that I did or am doing is to give myself a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction. I have gained a lot in that way, feeling above it all and this, tended to the demands of my super conscience! So, in short, I have been selfish. Then, why leave myself out of my little ‘plan’?! It won’t make me any more selfish if I served myself and my own needs a little bit more! Would it? And, if including myself in that long list of people does good and gives me the kind of happiness I want, then, why not??
After all the thinking and brooding, I have come to conclude that one has to start with oneself and one’s own individual needs before going on to others. To think that by doing so one is being selfish is utter non sense because as discussed, is not every act of ours, however selfless it might seem, stem from the self? Ultimately, it all comes down to that and we all are self serving, at different levels of conscience. We are all serving either our ‘Id’, or, our ‘ego’ or, those like me who walk with that false sense of accomplishment of being selfless, are still serving and nurturing something deep within ourselves which happens to be our ‘super ego’.
My objective in life and my theme is to make this world a bit better, a bit easier to live in, for people who pass along. And, I choose to include myself in my agenda as well, and will see how it goes. I have at last convinced myself and will continue on the path I have been taking with a small detour and hope that it will lead me to my destination…
