Love, probably the most discussed four letter word. The definition and meaning varies. The kind and form varies. The context varies. But, the appeal remains universal. We, as humans, are all wired to love and to seek love. Let us look into the category of love which is the boon as well as the bane of man kind, the love which is the basis of the human race, the love which brought us into existence and led to our creation, the love which keeps this world going- love between a man and a woman. For some, it seems to come easily. For others, it seems like a distant dream and their whole lives are spent in chasing the ever elusive thing called ‘love’.
But, do they know what they are seeking, really? Do they have an idea of where to find it? Do they really know what it means? Had they known, could it have been as unattainable as they make it out to be? Are all these people doing the needed?
For many there comes a time, in their quest for love, when desperation starts to set in and cynicism creeps in. They get bitter. They run away from it. They push it away and fail to recognize it even if it stares right back at their faces, because, they have stopped believing. Stopped believing in their capacity to love and be loved. Faith and trust keeps the love alive. Skepticism and doubt kills it.
Love for many becomes a goal they need to achieve in a certain frame of time. It’s a project they have to complete. If it fails to fit in that time frame, they give up and move on to other projects that will shape up according to their plans. They want to be in control and the moment they feel they are losing that, it scares them and the easiest thing to do is to exit. But, love is not something you can control and achieve in a period of time. It’s not a project, rather a process which takes its own time to take shape. One has to be prepared to face the unexpected, one has to let go and just go where it takes you rather than you trying to steer its wheels and take it where you want it to go. Love has its own path and its own sense of direction. You just have to follow the lead and you will arrive. And most importantly, you don’t have to seek love. Love will find you.
Personally, I have never believed in the concept of ’love at first sight’. I rather, prefer to call it ‘lust at first sight’! I know the romantics will cringe at the cold and analytical view of this beautiful emotion. But, I am talking about the kind of love that is way beyond what you could ever feel at first glance, in the first meeting and even in the initial phases. The beginning, for many, leads to the end of what could have been, had they persevered. They left when it started giving way to the real thing. The moment it starts retreating from their fantasy and begins to enter the realms of reality, they give up. They forget that it is not 'La-la land' they are dealing with where everything is hunky dory, according to their expectations. It is real life. And, reality has a lot of unpleasant things and uncharted territory, which might be intimidating and even inconceivable, before we came across it. But, that is what reality is, catching you unaware and testing your limits. If you manage to live through it, it pays its dues and you have laid the foundation of the beginning of a true and meaningful emotion without the frills of fantasy and grounded in reality. This is the initiation of the love I am talking about. And, from here on it prospers, of course with its ups and downs. Life is such. It gives you the good, the bad and the ugly and you have to embrace every thing as and when it comes, whether it’s in a person or a life situation. It is a lot of work and sometimes seems impossible. But one has to keep going with the faith and trust in the concept of love intact. And, all of a sudden love reveals itself and then there is no stopping it from here on…
So, love is definitely a beautiful emotion that we all are entitled to. It comes naturally to us, may be, not to begin with, but, it does come. For some, it comes naturally from the beginning to the end and they are the lucky ones. But, for most, it involves a lot of effort, perseverance, compromises and an unconditional offering of oneself. Just as the river running through the rock cuts it through the years, to give it a beautiful form and shape, with all its rough edges notwithstanding, so does love gives way to love, perfect in its own imperfect way. Love is after all a mix of the qualities mentioned above. It is a complex emotion with a lot of components to it. The people who are successful in love are the ones who supplement each other in these components, for, no man is perfect and we all have to work in sync and accordance with each other. One may have to give more than the other, but, if one keeps in perspective the objective, it will come through, sooner or later…
